The Spookdate Expedition
by EraTomo
Summary: Following an argument about Penny's belief in 'hokum', Penny drags Sheldon and the guys to prove that she was right about the existence of ghosts, spirits, and other supernatural and generally spooky things. S/P
1. The Teaser Chapter

The Spookdate Expedition

"Oh, come on, Moon Pie! It'll be fun!" Penny's cheerful voice floated down towards Sheldon across an old, abandoned, and fairly creepy courtyard. A strange kind of feeling, something like dread, had settled into the back of the theoretical physicist's mind, though he paid it no attention. Penny wouldn't mention it to Sheldon, but a block of ice had settled comfortably into her stomach, making itself at home.

Sheldon took the few moments of quiet he had while trooping up to the old mansion's front doors to wonder again how he had gotten into this predicament.

What had started out as a harmless argument about the existence of ghosts and spirits and doppelgangers and what-have-you hokum had turned into a monthly trip, every Anything-Can-Happen Thursday, to someplace in the vicinity that had rumors of being 'haunted'. While they had come across some fairly creepy things—an old graveyard wherein a woman thought guilty of being a witch was buried, surrounded by trees that stubbornly refused to grow over her grave (indeed, they decided to fold in on themselves and go _back the way they came_ instead of continuing on over her grave), old houses that creaked when you stepped in them and smelled of hundreds of years of dust (Sheldon had protested vociferously and he and Penny had left, much to the latter's dismay)—nothing so far had convinced Sheldon of the fact that, indeed, ghosts and spirits were more than just hokum.

This Anything-Can-Happen Thursday, however, had turned into something much larger than a simple trip-to-a-really-old-house-or-graveyard. When Penny had come over, announcing with triumph that she had found a house that was indeed, truly haunted, Sheldon had snorted with derision. Raj, however, had seemed interested—he had heard about that specific house somewhere on the internet, and wanted to go with them. Howard, who had translated for Raj, had his brain in his pants and decided that he couldn't let the opportunity to comfort a 'hollow and fearful' Penny go to waste. Leonard had at first been fine to let them go alone, but after Penny protested having Raj and Howard join her and Sheldon on their monthly 'spookdate', he changed his mind and decided to tag along (after asking Sheldon to 'catch him up' once more).

So, lo and behold, Penny had driven Sheldon, Howard, Raj, and Leonard up to some house in Middle-Of-Nowhere, California. A house that looked like it hadn't seen daylight for some years, much less been _cleaned_ in the recent century. Thankfully Sheldon had come prepared this time, with two pairs of latex gloves (one was a backup), a surgical mask, a can of "Early Morning Breeze" scented Lysol, and a Swiffer-Duster. Thus, he trucked up the hill, through a fairly overgrown courtyard with large rocks jutting out of the earth and flowers that smelled too strongly of lavender, up a cobblestone path that had been eaten alive by weeds, and to the front door that looked as if it would rot off of its hinges. Penny was there, looking smug, excited, and apprehensive all at once. Raj was dancing around on his toes as if he had to pee, Howard was spraying himself with more cologne (Axe, of course,) and Leonard was standing uncomfortably close to Penny, wheezing with laughter at a joke he had just made.

"Moonpie, it's time for me to prove you wrong!" Penny told Sheldon, as she always did before they began their spookdate-expeditions. Before Sheldon had a chance to remind Penny that no one called him Moonpie but Meemaw, she had kicked open the door, unleashing a cloud of sawdust and causing Raj to squeak in an octave so high most men would have needed to be kicked in the manbeans to reach it. Penny led the way into the murky gloom of the stale and completely 'haunted' house.


	2. Into the House

Penny led the way into the 'haunted' house, Sheldon pausing to spray the cloud of sawdust with his Lysol before following, and the other three coughing at the mixture of "Early Morning Breeze" and stale air that smelled like it hadn't moved for centuries. Penny had no sooner walked about five paces into the foyer than she stopped, Sheldon walking into her.

"Penny?" He asked. "Don't tell me you've already decided we should end this 'adventure' and go back home?"

Penny didn't miss the disdain in his voice, but shook her head and instead pointed to their surroundings. "Look. Doesn't something seem odd to you?"

After a moment or two Sheldon nodded and said, "Yes, all of this furniture seems to have come from the '20s. That would mean this house either hasn't been lived in since then, or is owned by an elderly couple and we are disturbing them!"

Penny shook her head. "Anything else?"

There was a longer pause in which Sheldon inspected his surroundings. Then he said indifferently, "There's no dust here."

He strode around the room, inspecting the baseboards and portraits of old men and women on the walls. The staircase that led to the upper level was also dust free. He stomped on the carpet that Penny was standing on, and no cloud of dust surfaced. When he turned to face the group he found Penny and Raj watching him with interest, while Leonard and Howard were off performing their own inspections.

"There's no dust here at all! In fact, there's hardly a spec of dirt in this room. What little dirt there is has been drug in by our own feet," he marveled, then pulled the surgeon's mask off of his face. "How did you know?" He turned to Penny skeptically.

"It's part of the legend about this place," Penny's answer echoed off of the high ceiling while Raj vigorously nodded.

"Wouldn't it be best for us to hear this legend before we continue on?" Leonard had reappeared next to Penny.

"Sure. It was said that a really long time ago, a family lived here. It was a father, and his four daughters, and a son. His wife had died earlier, and this house was his grandmother's or something like that. Anyways, the father owned pretty much everything in the neighboring town—"

"What neighboring town? All we passed through on the way here were rolling hills and gravel roads."

"Yeah, well, there used to be a town here but it was blown away, it's not important," Penny said, shooting a glare at Leonard for interrupting. "So, the father owned everything in the town, so he owned the police station, right? Thing was, the town didn't have a jail."

"What kind of town police station doesn't even have at least a small jail?" Sheldon protested. Penny ignored him.

"The town had no jail so the guy who lived here would bring all of the criminals in the town to this house and lock them up inside rooms to await their trial or death-by-chains or whatever."

"But, Penny, gibbets weren't used to kill a person; they were merely used after the person was dead to show the public what would happen if they chose to follow the same path. Gibbets were reserved for murderers, and haven't been used in the United States since 1913." The glare that followed this outburst caused Sheldon to purse his lips and become interested in the floor.

"Well," Penny continued in a steely tone, "Rumor has it the criminals put in this house were never given a trial and instead tortured until they either starved to death or committed suicide," and after a few moments of silence she added, "I'm finished."

"How were they tortured?" Leonard asked. Penny shrugged.

"I can't say for sure because the legend differs, but the people were either subjected to their worst fears if it was possible, like snakes and rats and spiders. Probably small spaces if they were claustrophobic. Or they were beaten, raped, you know. One rumor said that they were boiled alive."

"Oh, what a bunch of hokum," Sheldon said, walking away. "The fact that people were killed by immurement or torture doesn't mean this house is haunted, and you haven't explained why there is no dust."

"Yeah, the guy had some maids that were supposed to have died here, so they say the fact that there's no dust has to do with them. And it's haunted because at night you can hear moans and stuff in this house! It's said if you were to find the right room you can face your worst fears here!" Penny was grinning with excitement.

"Penny, it is currently 8:03 and there are no moans around this house. Also, it is getting close to my bedtime."

"Yeah, whatever, let's go look for those rooms!" Penny said, turning to face Sheldon, whose fingers were twitching oddly, and Leonard, who had paled and looked as if he didn't want to go near the two. Raj was still standing near the entrance way.

"Where's Howard?" She asked. Leonard pointed to the left side of the room, where Howard was facing a doorway and looking like he had just seen a naked supermodel.

"Guys, let's check this room out!" He said excitedly, and opened the door. The door was ominously quiet as it swung forward. The group followed Howard into the odd looking kitchen. Something wasn't right about it. The cabinets that hung around the room and the old appliances were stunningly beautiful, aside from being completely out of date. There were rust colored stains on the wall above the stove, and a small wooden table that looked as if it had been partially carved out in the middle.

Howard, however, paid no mind to these things and continued forward as if floating, pulled ahead by something only he could see. He reached the end of the room, where another door stood. After pausing for only a brief moment to gather his bearings, he entered the room next door. The air in the kitchen got eerily still as Leonard walked across the room. Penny felt as if when she breathed in the air was ice cold, but was certain she was imagining it. Still, she didn't feel very safe standing on her own, and grabbed onto Sheldon's arm. Sheldon, after a look of vague surprise crossed his face, returned once more to a vacant expression. They too crossed the room, with Penny looking behind her every few steps as if she felt she was being watched.

When they hit the middle of the room, an ear piercing screech hit their ears, and Penny took her arm away from Sheldon so she could cover her ears. Sheldon himself was doubled over in pain, and Leonard lost his balance and fell. Somewhere in the distance of the house a door slammed, and the screech stopped. Slowly, the group rose from the ground, Sheldon breaking the tension filled silence to say aloud, "There, there."

"That sounded like it came from a television, right?" Leonard asked. "It was like the whine that normally comes from a television was doubled and amplified by a thousand."

"Or an octave above middle C," Sheldon added, fiddling with his ear.

Off in the distance a boom sounded and shook the house. Leonard turned to stare at the door Howard had gone through, afraid to touch it. Penny turned to the door they had come from. Something wasn't right.

"Where's Raj?"

"Wasn't he with us the whole time?" Leonard asked. Penny shook her head.

Leonard turned to face the door Howard had gone through again. "Howard or Raj?" he asked. Sheldon had already crossed the room and opened the door that led back to the foyer.

"Koothropalli?" he called, his voice reverberating around the staircase and walls. The room was silent, Raj nowhere to be found. Another door slammed, this time sounding nearer to the kitchen they were taking refuge inside.

He calmly shut the door, strode across the room to where Penny stood trying not to acknowledge her fear, grabbed her by the wrist, and dragged her over to where Leonard stood.

"I think we should go this way," his voice was nonchalant as if he had just ordered a documentary on the history of beetles. Leonard nodded and opened the door to a powder room. The house was getting darker now, the sun having set, letting a blue hue in through the window on the left wall. A door led to another room on the right wall. A vanity stood in front of them. Dozens of colorful jewelry boxes were set on it, and an oval mirror attached to it reflected their pale faces back to them. The chair facing the vanity stood resolute, as if possessive of the room around it. An old grandfather clock rested next to the vanity and across from a group of sofas and chairs that were old and tired.

"Howard?" Leonard called. A thump came from somewhere in the room.

"Howard?"

The thump came from the Grandfather clock.

"Howard? Are you _in_ there? How did you get yourself in there?" Leonard asked, crossing the room quickly as the tall and narrow Grandfather clock now began to shake violently with thumps. Leonard fumbled with a small knob before saying,

"It's locked."

Penny crossed the room to the clock, motioning Sheldon to come with her. After pausing to look at the handle for a few minutes, she grabbed a wooden jewelry box and began to slam it down onto the clock door's handle, the clock still shaking violently with the force of the thumping coming from within it. Finally the handle flew off as the jewelry box splintered in her hands. She pulled open the door as the pounding finally stopped.

The clock was empty.

In fact, it wasn't even working. A now ominous silence fell over the three, as they all silently agreed that there was no way that had just happened, and that this room was probably no longer safe for them to be in. Sheldon and Penny slowly backed up towards the door to the kitchen, as one would do if a lion were in front of them and they just wanted to get the heck away from it. As they passed the vanity, their reflections, pale and frightened, stared back at them. Another door slammed, this time seeming to come from the room through the door on the right, the one they hadn't explored. Then a second boom came, shaking the house once more. The mirror in which they could see themselves cracked.

Now Penny and Sheldon lurched out of the room and into the kitchen, holding onto each other for dear life. They crossed the kitchen and entered the foyer, stepping over the front door that Penny had so cheerfully kicked down earlier and ran until they reached an old, knobbed tree in the courtyard. They were both shaking intensely, and Penny pulled Sheldon into a hug only for her own comfort. She hadn't expected Sheldon to put his arms around her and collapse against the tree, but she was happy he had done so just the same.

After a few minutes and their shaking had subsided, Sheldon asked, "Where did Leonard go?"

Penny turned to stare at the old house, the house that was now, for sure, haunted.

"We have to go back, don't we?"


End file.
